Posts made in November 2011

I am so thankful…

Posted on Nov 24, 2011 in Faith | 0 comments

…for my once-a-year chocolate pecan pie…for the Pilgrims and the Indians and all they endured before that first Thanksgiving Day…for my “WB” and his faithfulness to me…for the sensitivity of my William, the insight of my Chelsey, the mercy of my Danny, the joy of my Joey, and the perfection of my Ben…for skipping through meadows of wildflowers in warm sunshine…for ninety-minute massages…for the fireplace in a Georgia cabin and the leaves outside on an overcast October day.

I’m thankful for every tear I’ve shed because they’ve shaped who I’ve become. I’m thankful God doesn’t care nearly as much about changing my circumstance as He does transforming my heart. I am so thankful He’s always there because sometimes friends and family aren’t. 

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How Three Little Words Can Be So Scary

Posted on Nov 15, 2011 in Faith | 2 comments

Sixteen years ago at Christmastime I remember reading a prayer which got my attention and wouldn’t let it go. I think that’s because I was not able to say it…I couldn’t imagine having the kind of faith it would require. I must admit this bothered me—it kind of gnawed on my soul. The thing is, I was pregnant with my first baby. All I had ever wanted was to be a mommy and after almost a year of trying, I was now on the path to my “dream come true.” I knew if I said the prayer, it meant giving God permission to do ANYTHING in my life, which to me meant realizing my worst fear of taking away my baby.

The prayer (written by Betty Scott Stam and recorded by Elisabeth Elliot in Let Me Be a Woman) was this: “Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thy wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.” It was those three little words at the end—“at any cost”—which got me every time I tried to say this prayer. I believe God knew my heart—that I wanted to be able to surrender my whole life to Him—but I just couldn’t say those words. They were too scary for me. And I wasn’t going to fake it…I told God I wouldn’t say the prayer unless I could say the whole thing and mean it. And so I continued in my pregnancy, holding tightly to my dream of having babies and being a mommy.

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Sometimes Trusting God Means Taking a Risk… a Lesson Learned through a Hungry Beagle

Posted on Nov 8, 2011 in Faith | 2 comments

It was Thanksgiving Day 2006, about six months after my baby Ben died.  Dinner was over, and I was in the kitchen cooking giblets on the stove for my sweet Beagle, Bella.  She was busy licking remnants of food off plates in the dishwasher and simply would not divert her attention to listen to my voice telling her I had something far better in store.  I knew she would find the giblets exceedingly more tasty and satisfying, but because of her current focus she was unwilling and unable to acknowledge my presence and my promise.  Bella was settling for a far less fulfilling option simply because it was right in front of her… it was what she was used to, and there was no risk involved.  But closer than she knew, I, her master, looked on her lovingly, holding in my hand a “blessing” beyond Bella’s most extravagant dreams.  But would she hear my voice and come to me to receive it?  

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