Feeling alone, you may personally know, is all too common when we’re grieving. Whether we think no one understands our pain, or we don’t feel seen, or we feel seen but ignored because people don’t know what to say to us, personal experience has taught me how normal it is to feel isolated, alone, and lonely in our grief.

And even if we believe in an omnipresent God, he’s invisible, so how can we know he’s there? We are told over and over in Scripture God is with us, but in the midst of the pain, darkness, and aloneness, where is he? How can we know or feel his Presence?

How can we have eyes to see?

First, friend, let me declare from the mountaintops: he is there. Immanuel—“God with us”—is with you (Matthew 1:23). That’s his Name—that’s who he is.

Yes, he’s invisible, so it would help to have eyes of faith to see, but as I look back on some of the darkest, most “alone” times in my grief, I can see seven ways Immanuel proved his Name in my pain. The specifics will surely be different for you, but I believe the categories (listed in no particular order) may ring true….

To begin, God reveals himself through people.

Whether it was a friend’s caring voicemail, my own children’s precious words and smiles, a new friend who understood my pain because her baby had also died, or each and every person behind the thoughtful sympathy cards, e-mails, and dinners that arrived almost daily, God continually used PEOPLE to show me his compassion and tender loving care.

What people has God used with you?

Second, God reveals himself through his creation.

Whether it was a bird that uniquely fluttered at my window, the light of dawn that trickled into my hospital room, or the lilac trees that appeared in my backyard, God has countless times used the beauty and goodness of HIS CREATION to reveal his magnificent yet sweetly personal presence to me.

How has God used his creation with you?  

Third, God reveals himself through his Word.

Yes, Scripture is filled with many versions of “the Lord is with you,” but also endless more words of encouragement and hope from “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3). The Bible can be a big book that sits on a shelf, collecting dust, barely opened. But for those who open it—who read and receive its grace and truth—the Divine Author’s love letter to each and every one of us unfolds. And because “the word of God is alive and active,” Immanuel continues to speak to us through it, reaching out to us in our pain (Hebrews 4:12). I am forever thankful for God’s gift of HIS WORD to reveal his all-knowing, faithful love and empowering presence with me.

How has God used his Word with you?  

Fourth, God reveals himself through church.

Whether my eyes have seen “the light of the world,” Jesus, through a Christmas Eve Candle Lighting Service, or I have “fallen into the loving arms of God” through a sermon, or I have realized I’m not crying tears of sadness or joy, but of worship of my Living God, Immanuel has innumerable times used CHURCH to reveal his impassioned yet gentle presence with me, ministering to me and renewing me (John 8:12).

How has Immanuel recently or even long ago used church to prove his Name to you?

Fifth, God reveals himself through his Spirit within us.

Whether a comforting Scripture has “appeared” in my thoughts, or I have been “given” an idea I would not have had on my own, or I have felt “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,” Immanuel has shown me he is not only with me, but within me (Philippians 4:7). Jesus said, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you” (John 14:16-17). Indeed, because decades ago I responded to an invitation, receiving Jesus’s forgiveness of my sins and accepting him into my heart as my Lord and Savior, and have been journeying with him ever since, I “know him.” I know God uses HIS SPIRIT to reveal his “Faithful and True” presence with me (Revelation 19:11).

Has God used his Spirit to reveal himself to you?

If you have never received “the Spirit of truth” and would like to, I’ve included a prayer at the end of this post you may choose to say. (And if you do, I’d be so honored if you’d share with me that wonderful news.)*

Sixth, God reveals himself through song.

Whether it was Matt Redman’s “Blessed Be Your Name,” or Graham Kendrick’s “Knowing You Jesus,” or Amy Grant’s “Breath of Heaven”—or the ethereal loveliness of birdsong—God has used oh-so-beautiful SONG, it seems as many times as there are stars in the sky, to let me know he is with me…that he sees me, will be enough for me, and even has blessing for me in the suffering. His Presence has made all the difference in my sadness, as SONG has lifted my head and my heart to him. 

Is there a special song Immanuel has used with you?

Seventh, God reveals himself through visions and auditions.

These experiences—“seeing” and “hearing” with my heart—have definitely been more rare, but totally real and especially powerful. Whether it was the time I “saw” myself dancing with Jesus, “heard” God choose me for his reasons, or “saw” myself in a stream flowing through me, Immanuel has used VISIONS and AUDITIONS to communicate his divine Presence with me, also bringing purpose to my life or pain. 

Has God used visions or auditions with you?

Of course our Almighty, Triune God can reveal himself any way he wants, but I hope this post has helped you see various ways “God with us” might prove his Name to you, in your life, in your pain.

Throughout my grief, I learned even the most wonderful friend or family member cannot “be there” all the time, but God can and will. So, friend, when you feel most alone, know God is with you.

Even though you can’t see him, believe he is there.

And trust that just as Moses “…persevered because he saw him who is invisible,” so will you (Heb 11:27). “…blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).

God bless you, friend.

* The following prayer of belief is simply one example of a prayer you could say to accept Jesus into your heart and life, thereby receiving his Spirit. I happened to see it at Christ Community Church in Franklin, Tennessee and especially liked it:

“Lord Jesus Christ, I acknowledge that I am weaker and more sinful than I ever dared to admit, but through you I am more loved and accepted than I ever dared hope. I thank you for paying my debt on the cross, taking what I deserve in order to offer me complete forgiveness. Knowing that you have been raised from the dead, I turn to you and receive you as my Savior and Lord. Amen.”